Skunk River

So, I kind of cheated and changed the date of this post. It isn't really 10/15, it is actually 10/27. I just didn't want it to seem like I haven't written in over a month. But, in reality, I haven't.

This post is going to be about my trip to São Paulo. Well, actually my trip to an Alphaville just outside of São Paulo.

SP is a huge metropolis in the southern half of Brazil. It has over 18 million people! (New York has 8). Gustavo and I went there to visit his aunt and uncle that live in Alphaville (a.k.a. richpeopleville) His uncle is a veterinarian. But not just a veternarian...oh no, he is veterinarian to the stars! So, he is rollin' in the dough. They have plasma TVs in just about every room in the house, no kidding.

Being in alphaville/SP actually reminded me a lot about the States. The houses were larger and there were modern conviences such as microwaves, dishwashers and George Foreman grills. And, his aunt reminded me a lot of my mom. She is very talkative and friendly and made delicious food. She made sushi one night, we had a barbeque the next (the Brazilian kind remember) and then yummy garlic fish. It was great.

Nothing really eventful happened there. Except what I whitnessed at Uncle Sergio's birthday party. I was absolutely appalled! We all gathered around to sing "parabens para você" and to cut the beautiful pineapple and orange cake. After the candles were all blown out and wishes were made, the host began serving the beautiful dessert. However, when she dished it out, she trimmed the frosting off of the sides of the cake! What?? And! No one stopped this atrocity. I actually watched in horror as people threw their frosting into the garbage. In my family, we do not waste buttercream deliciousness. It is a delicacy. There are fights over who gets the big, sugary flowers and the excess frosting that sticks to the knife. Not in Brazil, apparently. I prayed that night that my sister and dad would never have to witness what I just had.

The rest of the trip was spent visiting with family. I actually got up the nerve to talk in front of a large group. I must say that I really love Brazilians. They make me feel so proud of my portuspanglish. I said one sentence and the room went nuts. They were applauding me on my ability to speak like a 2 year old. They really know how to make a girl feel good :-)

There is a park that is in front of "old São Paulo". It was the first place settled. I really enjoyed that because it was like a timeline of the major events of the colonization of Brazil. That's what all these pictures are. This last one is of an old colonial church. I think it is out-of-this-world gorgeous.

I almost forgot. You probably wonder why I named the post skunk river? Well, there is a river that runs right through SP. It is huge. And it STINKS! Seriously, I have never smelled anything like it. I wish there was a way to attach the smell to this blog, but I think that would be a crime. It is so poluted. Brazil has spent billions of dollars trying to clean it, but can't because it is so out of control. Good thing Captain Planet will be graduating soon!

The end.

i have a love-hate relationship with saving the world

Did you know that my apartment is fueled by solar energy? Pretty cool, huh?
Yes, I thought so too. Everyday my shower was toasty warm and I could feel good that mother nature was heating my body. How "organic", right?? I thought so when the weather was hot. I thought so when the sun was shining. I thought so when there was a streak of over 120 days without rain.

But now, we've had about a week straight of rain. Every....single...day. And it is cooooold. Just the other day we had a hail storm. Oh, the best part is, the houses are designed to keep cool in and heat out. So, you can imagine how toasty warm it is. Imagine late October weather in a ceramic building with no heating system. Oh, yeah baby. And then, you want to step into a nice, warm shower, but noooo. You get in and swear ice cubes are falling from the shower head. It's nice saving the Earth and all, but I wouldn't mind not freezing my balls off. Let me just paint a picture for you all. You get in, turn on the water, wait, wait, wait. Hoping that it will heat up. But it doesn't. So you hold your breath. Get as wet as you can as fast as you can and then get out of the line of fire. Soap up your entire body and hair out of reach of the shower head. Then, once again, hold your breath. (Breath out, its gonna be ok). Breath in again and hold, rinse rinse rinse (while jumping up and down) and finally, get out.

Now, I know why women wax here. Can you imagine shaving on all those goosebumps? ouch! So, actually, I'm saving the earth in 3 ways 1) no electricity to heat my shower 2) significantly reduced shower time 3) less showers as a result of shear fear and dread. Woo hoo! Beat that green footprint bitches.



I'm not making fun of those who are eco-friendly. My boyfriend is an environmental engineer, so he can be Captain Planet all he wants. Just give me my hot shower.

is this me or what?

So, something really creepy happened to me yesterday. I was preparing the lesson for my english students and decided to do a lesson on the Zodiac. I was reading what it said about Sagitarrius and was SCARED!!!! Not only does everything have to do with me (the good and the ugly) but I was talking the DAY BEFORE with my sister about many of the attributes I have and was only confirmed by this.

Now, you all read it and if you know me, comment, because I think it is true.

Sagittarius / November 22 - December 21
Sagittarius is the ninth sign of the Zodiac and associated with travel and expansion. Individuals born under this sign are thought to have a straight-forward, dynamic, highly intelligent, extremely clever, ethical, humorous, generous, open-hearted, compassionate, and energetic character, but one which is also prone to restlessness, impulsiveness, impatience, recklessness, and kiddishness.

Positive
Optimistic and freedom-loving

Jovial and good-humored

Honest and straightforward

Intellectual and philosophical

Negative
Blindly optimistic and careless

Irresponsible and superficial

Tactless and restless

Also, one of my students read a book that catagorizes your personality down to the day you were born. I would like to read that now. Just for shits.

can I complain really quick?

Let me just say that:

I hate roosters. I don't know if people keep them in their backyard for fun or something, but they start crowing at 5 in the morning. Regardless, however put them near my window, I want to punch them in their Cock-adoodledoos.

Oh yeah, and sometimes, you get a crazy rooster that thinks that it is five in the morning at midnight and they start crowing. And then! All of the dogs start barking. It is so great!

On a happier note, I found a TV show that I really like. I watch it when I'm cooling down at the gym. It is a cooking talk-show, like Martha Stewart. But better! Why? Just think of a hotter Martha loaded with botox. So much botox that her face doesn't move. When she tries her desserts, you can't really tell if she likes it or not! haha. Oh yeah, and the best part is that she has a side-kick. A giant green parrot. It is as big as a cockerspaniel! It is great. He says the funniest stuff (I think).

Anyways, she makes the best desserts! See what I'm talking about and:

Watch a little of her show!

i speak portuspanish

I haven't written in awhile, so I decided to update y'all. I don't even know if anyone reads this.

So, new things with me:

1. I started teaching English. At first I didn't know if I was going to like it, but I really do. My students are fabulous. One is an absolute genius. She is going to be finishing her master's in biochemistry and she is only 21!!!!



2. We all moved to a bigger apartment. It is a new building and it is green. There are a lot of green things here. Our building sits on top of a hill. I always think of the emerald city from wizard of oz because to get up there, we have to climb this huge ass hill and I'm always relieved to see it! Gustavo and I have a balcony in our room. It is so kick ass.



3. My new nickname is Courtney W. Bush. (thanks to Gustavo's dad)



4. I'm starting to speak a variation of Portuguese I like to call portuspanish!

As most of you know, if you know me, is that I have a crazy stomach. I have been to doctor after doctor about my "lil' Silva" (the name I give my stomach ache when it comes. Silva is a Ultimate Fighting champion from Brazil). Since I have been in Brazil, it has gotten considerably worse. So I went to a Gastroenterologist to see what is up. He has put me on a strict diet and I will have to have an endoscopic examination next week (he's going to put a camera down my throat to look at my insides). The strict diet (or the "no fair" diet as I like to call it) consists of eating 6 small meals a day, no or very little fat, lots of water, and..... NO COFFEE!!! ..... This is day 2 of the 'no fair' diet. So yesterday I was going through some wicked caffeine withdrawal. Gustavo's mom made a cake yesterday to, but I couldn't eat it. Wait, she made two cakes....a carrot one and a coconut one. No FAIR!! Gustavo has been good about hiding the coffee from me when he drinks it, how sweet....I can still smell it on his breath.

I got some really great news from the US last week. My big sister is getting married! I am so excited for her! I am going to be the maid-of-honor, so I will be back in the States sooner than I had anticipated.

I am starting to meet lots of people. Going to the gym is one of my favorite things to do. Everyone is the same age and they are all into sports so its easy to start a conversation. I met someone that is studying Food Science and they are going to help me get a researching position at the University. He said it would be with food microbiology. That is soooo freaking awesome! I love food and I love micro.

Last weekend we celebrated Gustavo's grandma's birthday. He has a huge family, just like me. On his mom's side there are 11 brothers and sisters. So, the whole family got together for a barbecue at his aunt's house in the country. These aren't like American barbecues, they are Brazilian style. They buy a ton of different meat and salt it up and put it in this huge oven, fire thing and roast it for a long time. While everyone is drinking beers, someone cuts the meat into little pieces and passes it all around. The parties go from about 2 in the afternoon til late at night. You drink beer and eat all day long. There is other food and dessert too. Gustavo's aunt is a fabulous cook/baker and she made some dessert. Something with Dulce De leche (doce de leite) and also made a passion fruit mousse (which was to die for!). When I come back to the States, I'm definitely going to have a Brazilian churrasco (barbecue) for all to enjoy!

Gustavo took me to a Bossa Nova concert. It was so wonderful! The female singer had the most beautiful voice and sounded perfect live. He knows most of the people that played because he took classical guitar lessons for so long. I beg him everyday to play "beautiful Brazilian" music to me. He is awesome! This picture is of us enjoying a couple caiparinhas and other cocktails. Those things catch up to you fast. The picture underneath is after a couple caiparinhas. I thought I was looking extra cute in that picture too....hahahaha.

That's all for now!

I got waxed again

So, I got waxed again.

And it was..... FINE! People promised me that it wouldn't hurt as bad the second time, and it didn't.

So, I'm never shaving again. And, I have about 50% less hair that grows back than before.

peace

Poopzilla and Booger Castro

Wow, I have a lot to write about. Maybe, I should start with the title.

Readers, beware! I will talk about poop. Lets just say my boyfriend appropriately gave me the nickname Poopzilla because I don't....go....for about 6 days at a time. You can imagine the rest. Uh, Embarrassing. Hi Mom and Dad, I brought this girl from the states. You can't say Courtney, so just call her Poopzilla! To combat my little IBS stomach, I bought some Activia. That shit better work. For the sake of my shit.

I have renamed my boyfriend Booger Castro. I did this because as soon as we got to Viçosa he got sick, and he is just now recovering. As a result, he has lost 20lbs.+ of MUSCLE!. He gets sick for a couple weeks (a cold...c'mon!), pouts a bit, and loses 20 lbs. So, now he is and will forever be, Booger. However, we started the gym again (thank God) and he has already put back on at least 5 of those lost. That stinker had only 5.5% fat. I have lost 3 lbs. since I got here (not wanting to at all and eating those beautiful, wonderful, delicious pastels de frango.) Who knows how?! Probably because we walk everywhere. Or...because...

Brazilians got it going on!
Their way of living makes it easy for them to be thin. Americans should take some notes on this.
1) They eat a delicious carbo-loaded breakfast! This makes total sense because you need to replenish your body of the nutrients lost and prepare yourself for the day ahead.
2) They walk everywhere. You actually SEE your neighbors and friends on a day to day basis.
3) They have a 2 hour lunch break. You actually get to enjoy your lunch. And they do! Lunch is the largest meal. Everyone is home! We eat, talk, nap and then we go back to work or school.
4) Do you want me to keep going? Because, I could. And I will. Just, not now.

This part: for women only! (Dad close your eyes and scroll)
Brazilians don't having it going on (as far as I'm concerned) in the tampon area. They cost about 1$ a "pon" and don't have applicators...

America 1 : Brazil -1
Ok, done. Dad, you can read again.

A couple of my girlfriends were traveling throughout SA came to Rio, so Gustavo and I met them there. It was so much fun. It was so nice having someone of the same sex to talk to! We relaxed on Ipanema beach, ate and drank. The second I left them, I had a weird feeling. It finally, finally hit me. I am going to be gone a year. It wasn't real to me before, but saying goodbye to those girls made it crystal clear. Then, another thing happened. For the first time in my life, I was homesick. I have been abroad before. I went to college away from home. But, this feeling of homesickness was miserable. I missed my mommy first. I missed coming home from work and seeing her always so happy. I missed almost making my dad laugh (I can see him cracking a smile behind his crossword.) I missed talking to my sisters. I missed going out with my girlfriends. I missed my Charlie. So, I cried. I think Gustavo was surprised because I don't think he had ever seen me cry. (Not even when I got my Britney waxed.)
We drove home to Viçosa the next day and when we pulled up to his parents house, I felt the greatest sense of relief. I felt like I was home. I new my way around the city. And, miraculously, I could understand A LOT more Portuguese! HALLELUJAH!

I start teaching English next week. That should be interesting.
Thats all for now folks!

waxing = hell

Today I went to the salon to get waxed. I thought since I was in Brazil, I should go ahead and get a Brazilian wax (and both legs while I'm at it).

What the hell was I thinking.

The lady asked me if I was my first time...looked at me shocked...and then reassured that this would be the most painful and that I probably shouldn't do the....whole thing....if I wasn't used to it. She started going and I thought that this was the worst pain ever. If you have ever seen "40 year old Virgin" that was basically my reaction as well. Poor Gustavo had to be in the room with me because he had to tell me what she was saying. He was laughing so hard that he was crying. It was pretty funny...yeah...The only reason I was laughing was so I wouldn't cry!!!

Speaking of poor Gustavo. He has been SUCH a great guy. He had to go to the nail salon with me when I got my nails done. (speaking of nails, I broke one of them when I was gripping on to the bed for dear life when I was getting waxed) He went to the gym with me when I was getting my intial weights and measurements done. I have been attached to his hip! It's different for me to be with someone like that, but amazingly, it hasn't bothered me at all.


Lastly, I would just like to thank my parents for my middle name: Dolores. When I was younger, I didn't really care for the name because kids would make fun of me. However, everything happens for a reason! Being named Courtney in Latin America is rough. They hear the name, laugh, and usually pronounce it Corny. I gladly tell them they can call me Dolores. Its a good icebreaker and both parties are a little releived.

I am addicted to Brasilian coffee, a dedication to all things yummy

I am addicted to Brasilian coffee. Maria (Gus's mom) makes it aout 3x a day. Brasilians normally drink about an espresso sized portion of Joe, but not me. I'm sucking down around 2 "American" sized cups about 3x a day. I just can't get enough. They grind the beans super fine (like powdered sugar) which makes it really strong. It is just so damn good.

There are pastry/bakery's EVERYWHERE!!! Okay, everyone knows that I am obsessed with this (it's my job for goodness sakes). So naturally, I want to try everything. Most of the things for sale are savory (a growing trend in the States). There is one in particular, pastel do frango (chicken empanada), that will be the death of me. Everytime I eat one, they taste better and better. I have been indulging at any chance I get until I get a gym membership again.

Gus brought me to a favorite restaurant of his. It is a smorgousboard of miniture foods. Little empanadas, pão de queijo (cheese bread that is to die for but hurts my little lactose intolerant belly), cakes, cookies....this list goes on and on. It was the perfect place for me really. You chose what you want, weigh your food (a custom I think the US should adopt) and pay for what you eat in weight. That place could be really dangerous for me. I think I'm going to avoid it for awhile.

Maria also likes to make cakes. What???!! I love cakes!!! She made a carrot cake the other day. I thought of the traditional creamcheese frosting variation from home, but hers was very different. She blended the carrots and sugar until it made a juice and that was how the cake was flavored. Very interesting and very good. Gus said that she usually puts chocolate frosting on top. I couldn't imagine that, but everything else has been awesome so far. Tonight she is making Brasilian coconut cake. I attempted this in the States and failed miserably. I can't wait until it is cool enough to cut into.

Did I mention I will be obese in 1 year when I return?

Mr. and Mrs. Gus Gus

Two nights ago I met Gus's parents and sister. They are so cute and nice. Gustavo looks just like his dad. I think that his mom has special powers because she read my mind (since I can't speak portuguese). She whipped out old fotos of lil'Gus! Most of the pictures were when he was young. He was blond and had a sassy face in almost all the pics. But, there were some more recent ones as well. SWEET REVENGE! (side note, Hunter, my nephew, had shown Gus pictures of me when I was....not so attractive. I.E. 15, braces, zits and tomboy) I also got to see pictures like this. Gustavo, 6 feet tall, SKINNY SKINNY and braces. It was AWESOME! I laughed so hard I thought I was going to cry.

Today we went all over his city. It looks a lot different than I had thought. Almost everyone lives in apartments. So, downtown in kind of crowded feeling. He lives in the mountains so there are hills everywhere. Also, all of the streets are cobblestone. Pretty neat. I thought it looked like a mix of Europe and latin america. If you could picture that.

Something weird that I noticed about his city: there are more 60's VW bugs here than I have collectively seen in my lifetime....

His mom told me (via my interpreter) that a manicure and a pedicure together cost about 7$. I will be getting one of those. Also, a wax for both legs is 4$. I will also be doing that. Speaking of waxes....I am in Brazil....

soccer, the beach and a band...oh my!

We slept the whole day after the party. We got home at about 6 am and were snoring til 3 in the afternoon! Then, Felipe, Gus, Guillerme (another friend) went to a soccer game. Outside the stadium was complete mayhem. There were sooo many people! Everyone was young, beautiful and...drunk. I didn't think so many beautiful people existed. The stadium fits about 100,000 people and it was just about full. The fans were nuts. They were singing and burning stuff the whole game. It was FABULOUS! American sports suck.
Something weird I learned today: there is a TV channel completely dedicated to selling cattle....like CVS for farmers. (what the hell?)


The next day we went to Ipanema beach. (you know like the song. I thought that I could never see so many beautiful people in one spot again, but I did. And they were even more beautiful. The "ugly" ones could model for Victoria Secret!

Felipe told me that at 3:30 all the young people come and the older ones leave and then everyone smokes pot until sundown at 6. And then they cheer. I thought that was cool. We went home, took a nap and prepared ourselves for another party. This time Pagode. This time I was stoked. This is my favorite kind of Brazilian music. We went to the concert, drank some beer on the street ( $2.5 for 2 40 oz. bottles!!!! hot damn) and danced our asses off. There were so many people. A really famous old lady sang with the band there. She walked right by me... it would be cool if I knew her name.

Brazil - 1 pt. for awesome sports
- 1 pt. for pagode
- 3 pts. for cheap beer and drinking in the streets

My first night in Brazil

Last night, well this morning, we arrived in Brazil at 4:15am. I was so tired when Gus's friend, Felipe, picked us up, I could barely talk. We had been awake and traveling for over 24 hrs. by the time we finally got to his house. While I passed out in my breakfast, Gus kept talking for awhile. That day we went to a restaurant. It is buffet style, but beautiful. All the food is in these little rustic pots and there is a guy who works the barbecue. There were about 10 different kinds of meat that smelled so good! Gus and his friend took something that looked wierd. I asked what it was.....they told me... "corações do frango". What???? CHICKEN HEARTS. Ok, no thanks, I'll pass on that. Leaving the restaurant, I tried the coffee. Whoops, shouldn't have done that. I could stick that stuff right to my veins. It is so strong and delicious....
Later we went to the supermarket. I was in heaven. The fruits and vegetables there were huge! The peppers were the size of small babies....seriously. I wanted to eat everything in site.
(this day is kind of long)
At night we went to a funk party. I was nervous at first because they told me it was going to be just like the party in "City of God" the movie (someone gets shot there). But, they were just kidding. The music is like dancehall. They had some famous guy up there with two girls. The girls had the biggest asses I have ever seen in my entire life. They were wearing micromini skirts with thongs on and they looked like horses! However, unlike huge American asses, there was absolutely NO fat! zero. I couldn't believe it. Not even a dimple people.
Those Brazilians sure like to party. We were there until 430 in the morning. I might have fallen asleep in the club...whoops.